Epilogue: The Vest
by Windlass
Summary: Epilogue to The Vest, by request. Andy discovers Nick's message and has to deal with its implications. Does she carry on, not sure of what her feelings are, or does she call it quits?


**Epilogue to The Vest. I had a request to turn the one shot into a two shot. Hope you like it.**

I don't own anything Rookie Blue.

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Nick lay in his hospital bed in serious condition. Andy was there at his side for most of the day when she received a call. In the chaos, she'd forgotten to shut her phone off.

"McNally, it's me," A long pause. "I'm sorry, um, about Collins, how is he?"

"He's in serious condition. Why are you calling me? You wouldn't care if he disappeared off the face of the earth, let's be honest, Sam,"

"No, Andy, that's not true. He may not be my favourite person, but I wouldn't wish a violent bloody death on anyone. Not even Nick Collins,"

"Ok, so why?"

Andy was interrupted by a nurse who came in to take a look at Nick's wounds.

"Oh, Officer McNally, the doctor told me to tell you he has something for you,"

"Sam, I have to go," She didn't wait for his answer; just hung up on him, leaving him frustrated and perplexed at the same time.

Andy followed the nurse out to where Nick's doctor was waiting. He was holding Nick's vest in his hand.

"We were getting his belongings and came across this," he handed her the vest, inside facing out. _'Some good it did,'_ Andy thought. He left her to read the message, hastily written, scrawled in sharpie. It was hard to make out the words, the black ink on the navy fabric. She squinted her eyes to read it.

_Dear Andy,_

_You are the sweetest and best thing that has happened to me in a very long time._

_If I don't make it today, meaning, if you read this message at the end of the day, you'll know that I've gone from this earth...passed on._

_It breaks my heart to think what that would do to you, Andy._

_Still, in the event I do not return to you, know that I have loved you first as a friend, and now, as a lover. I would've asked you to marry me, over time, because I know someone like you only comes around once in a lifetime._

_I also know that there is someone else who loves you, and you should try to make a life with him. Don't mourn me for too long. Know that I want you to be happy. That's the bottom line._

_All my love,_

_Nick_

It was Nick's last message to her in case he didn't make it back alive. She sat there, stunned at the implications. He told her he loved her. She didn't know whether to laugh or cry because she didn't know exactly how she felt about him. It almost would've been easier if he had died, but the fact was, he survived and now it was all there, out in the open. He loved her all along, never letting his feelings show, until just recently. Truth was, Nick Collins loved her first when she snuck him into the empty conference room at work and gave him strong coffee and a muffin. He was so drunk.

Andy sighed and clutched the vest close to her heart. Her tears ran silently down her cheeks.

She felt a warm hand on her shoulder. "Hey, they told me I would find you here," his voice was soft and gentle. It was the first time in a long time he'd shown any sort of emotion toward her since she got back.

She turned around and faced him, stared into those dark eyes. "Sam. Why are you here?" She wiped away her tears, not wanting him to see her like this.

"I was concerned for you, McNally,"

"You probably should be with Marlo. Why don't you just worry about her," The sharp tone in her voice sliced to his heart.

"Andy. Let me explain,"

She cut him off. "No, Sam. I'm not in the mood to play head games with you, not right now,"

He saw her bite her lower lip and those sad brown eyes. His arms ached to hold her against his chest. He wanted to run his fingers in her hair and speak soft comforting words to her. Tell her he desperately loved her and not Marlo, tell her he made a terrible, terrible mistake.

He wasn't going anywhere. She whispered to him, "Sam, please go. It's not a good time,"

"When is a good time, then, Andy? When is our timing ever good?"

"What are you talking about?" she frowned and squinted her eyes at him, shaking her head just a little.

Sam drew in a deep breath. "I love you, Andy. I have to be honest with you and with myself. I love you. I haven't stopped loving you," he smiled at her, hoping she'd be happy.

Instead, he saw her roll her eyes at him and look away.

"Those are hollow words, Sam. I've heard them before and I know better than to let myself believe you any more. Why should I believe you?!"

"McNally I'm begging you. Please. Believe me."

"Sam. Just go. Now."

She stood up holding Nick's vest. She contemplated showing him Nick's message to her. Sam didn't move, he was waiting for some sort of explanation. He was being persistent.

"Ok, here, if you must know." She didn't take her eyes off him, hoping she'd see some sort of emotion, get some kind of rouse out of him. His eyes scanned the message, his walls were clearly up. Sam handed her back the vest without saying a word. He clenched the muscles in his jaw.

"I'll back off for now, give you some space, but I meant what I said, Andy. I know you've got a lot of things to think about right now, but...can you tell me if I even have a shot at winning you back?" His heart was beating so hard he thought she might hear. He was flustered, he was nervous. No one ever made him feel this way.

"Don't do this, Sam. For all this time, I had no clue you even remotely felt like that. You were professional all the way, and I felt nothing from you. Maybe the magic we once had is gone and you're only kidding yourself. And now, while my boyfriend, - _yes Sam, you wanted me to move on_- is in there struggling to live, you feel the need to suddenly announce you love me. You're twisted and warped, Sam Swarek. It's always been all about you, hey?" she was angry now and all those feelings she'd ever felt since going on Dakota were rising up to the surface.

Sam stood unflinching. She was right. He had treated her badly, kept her at arms length, showed her every single day that she was yesterday's news and that Marlo was where it was at for him. He even asked her to cover for Marlo when she'd screwed up with Kevin Ford. Who did that? That was how he showed he loved her? No wonder she had a hard time believing him.

"Look, I was wrong in treating you like that. I only did what I thought _you_ wanted. I'm sorry." he walked backwards toward the main reception area. "I hope he pulls through. And McNally, what he wrote in there, he's right. I do love you, and if you'll have me back some day, I swear I'll do more than my best to give you a good life. A life you deserve."

"Go home! You're talking like he's dead or going to die. You've got some nerve."

"That's not what I meant, Andy. Whatever." He raised his arms up and dropped them in a show of exasperation. She stood watching him pass through the sliding glass doors and disappear.

Nick was awake when she got back to his room.

"Hey," she whispered softly as she gently stroked his forehead. She leaned in to kiss him.

"Andy, you know, don't you?"

"I do." She cast her eyes down to the floor. "The doctor showed me the vest,"

"I'm sorry to put you on the spot, but it's how I felt at the moment. I still feel that way,"

"I know, and you've been so good to me. You've been everything..." she stopped herself. She was always comparing him to Sam.

"Everything he wasn't. Andy, I don't expect you to love me back, if that's not how you feel right now. Maybe you need some time."

"No, Nick. I've been trying so hard, but the truth is I'm still hung up on Sam. I can't shake him. I'm sorry,"

She couldn't look him in the eyes. He turned his face away and swallowed hard, fought back the tears that were pushing their way out.

"You know, I've been thinking worst case scenario." He wiped his tears away. "When I get out of here, I'll make it easier on both of us, Andy. I'll ask Frank for a transfer."

Andy's heart broke for her best friend. "Nick, I'm so sorry. Deep inside you knew it, didn't you?"

He nodded sadly. "Yeah, but dreaming felt so good. I didn't want to wake up, and I hoped you would return my feelings in time,"

"But I can't lie any more. I love you as my dearest and closest friend, but I need to work things out with Sam. I know that now,"

"You don't even know that he wants you back. Has he told you? I hate how he raises your hopes and drops you flat on your ass every time. Andy. I would never do that to you,"

"I know, Nick, but I have to try. One last time."

"I can't promise I'll be here when your heart is shattered to pieces. I just want to see you happy,"

Andy opened her mouth to say something but closed it again. It wasn't fair for anyone to expect to play second fiddle. Nick deserved better than what she had to offer. She took his hand and raised it up against her cheek. Sliding it down slowly, she kissed it.

"Get better soon, Nick Collins. I'll never forget you, my friend."

Andy hailed a cab and gave the man Sam's address. She didn't know if he'd be home, but she'd wait until he was. She needed to know what he was going to say before she'd cut him off like that. What _about_ Marlo?

She knocked on the door. He opened it, surprised to see her standing there. It was like deja vu.

"Are you alone?" she asked tentatively, her foot on the threshold.

"Yeah, wanna come in?"

"If you'll let me. I cut you off earlier and now I need to hear your side of the story. Tell me I didn't burn my bridges unnecessarily," she looked deep into Sam's eyes.

He let her in. "You didn't burn your bridges unnecessarily, McNally. I swear,"


End file.
